Have any suspicions in your current relationship? Do you only ever see your partner at night and/or in discrete places?Do you think your partner is in a relationship with someone else? if so, you could be the dreaded “side chick”.
*Disclaimer: the opinions in this post and in the video below are the opinions of our own and do not imply that this is your situation or relationship. Don’t accuse your partner of cheating and don’t think that you’re the side chick with out first talking to your partner.
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Heres 13 SIGNS we’ve compiled to look out for….
Before you start investigating you should ask yourself, “Am I ok with being the side chick?”
-This is a question you have to honestly ask yourself if you are suspicious of this. Are you emotionally attached, and what will you do if you find out you are?
Sign # 1: Where did you meet them?
– depending on where you met, can determine if your the “side piece”. If you met somewhere like a family setting they would more than likely have their family with them. If you met somewhere like a bar or club, chances could be high that you’re dealing with someone that is already in a meaningful relationship?
Sign # 2: Respect Factor
– We don’t believe theres a certain number of days you should wait before having sex in a new relationship, but having sex with someone before you both have established what the relationship is, is a very important factor to consider. If it was supposed to be a one night stand, of course the chances of being a side chick are high. Waiting to have sex doesn’t solidify a relationship but it does help to establish one; if thats the goal.
Sign # 3: When do they contact you?
– If your partner is only contacting you after hours it would seem suspicious, but before you start piecing together signs ask yourself a few basic questions. Do they have a demanding work schedule? Are they usually busy during the day with other obligations? If you’re not sure, you may want to consider asking them how busy they are during the day and why you can’t meet during earlier hours. If they don’t offer a reason or prefer to meet at night, thats a very good chance they are trying to hide you from something or someone.
Sign # 4: Public
-If you do go out on dates together, where are these dates at? Do they prefer to meet at hotels, or their house? Do they try to avoid public when they are with you? if so, you could be the side chick! Of course there could be reasons as to why, such as, they don’t have the finances to go on dates in public or they would rather spend time at home. Either way, be aware of this.
Sign # 5: PDA
– When you are together in public, are they affectionate? do they seem anxious or afraid of being out with you? Of course, they might not be affectionate but after spending time together, say more than a few months, they shouldn’t be too uncomfortable with public affection. Especially if they can’t keep their hands off of you in private.
Sign # 6: Meeting the people in their life
-We would say after about 6 months or so into the relationship, if you haven’t met anyone in their life, you may want to ask them why. Their could be hundreds of reasons such as they don’t get along with their family, maybe they don’t have many friends, or maybe their friends and family don’t live close by. If they just choose to keep you a secret or away rom the people in their life, they may be hiding something.
Sign # 7: Being introduced
-If the two of you are together and run into someone they know, do they introduce you? Be careful to not take it to personal as there could be several reasons why but if they begin acting different or anxious, its usually not a good sign. They’re probably afraid that someone will expose your relationship.
Sign # 8: Are they interested in getting to know you
-Most people in a relationship want to know more about who they’re getting i involved with. Do they ask about your life or do they only seem interested in sex? This is almost a certain sign that points towards you either being the side chick or the friends with benefits. If you’re not ok with either of those possibilities, try to tell them about yourself. If they seem uninterested, chances are very high that you are the side chick.
Sign # 9: Don’t confuse the signs
-Most if not all of these signs could mean the person you are interested in is afraid or doesn’t want commitment. It doesn’t necessarily mean you are a side chick but trying to develop a relationship with someone that doesn’t want one is almost impossible. Try not to waste your time with someone that is vocal or has shown you they are not interested in being with you. There are plenty of people out there, that would love to have a relationship so make sure you are being honest with your partner and most importantly yourself.
Sign # 10: Don’t be naive
-If your partner has shown you that they aren’t interested in a monogamous relationship or there is a lot of evidence pointing to them being in a relationship with someone else, don’t look the other way. Most of the time all of these signs are very obvious, but with feelings being involved and becoming attached, it can make it very difficult to not see the obvious. Make sure you don’t waste too much time trying to convince yourself that you’re happy if you’re clearly not.
Sign # 11: Effort
-Who puts in more effort? are you always the one trying or is it a two way street? Its important to notice if you’re the one carrying the entire relationship or not. If your partner seems uninterested, its probably because they’re not interested. Don’t try to convince yourself otherwise. If they never contact you to meet up, or go on dates, or spend time together, it’s may be because they don’t want.
Sign # 12: Progression
-Is your relationship heading somewhere or does it seem stagnant? Have you spent more than enough time with someone but you seem stuck in the beginning stages of your relationship? its important not to compare your relationship to your friends, family and anyone else but if you feel that things aren’t progressing make sure you tell your partner. They could feel the same way, worst case scenario, you’re the side chick.
Sign # 13: Do your part
-All too often we see people in situations where they’re not happy and they never say anything. If you never ask the important questions, you can be certain that things will never change. So if you feel suspicious about anything, make sure you ask your partner. Tell them your concerns, don’t accuse them but have a conversation with them and watch their reaction and hope that they tell you the truth.
—If you find out you are for sure the side chick, you have to be honest with yourself and plan your next steps. Do you stay and put up with it or do you leave? Of course the best thing to do would be to leave. You deserve a shot at a real relationship and try happiness. Never feel like your worth is being someones second choice. Put yourself first, get your friends together, and go enjoy life. Things may be difficult at first if you decide to leave, but at least your giving yourself a chance with someone that won’t treat you like the side chick. Once you know the truth, then its up to you to determine what you’re worth.
Check out our video below as we talk a little more in depth about the signs and our experiences. Thanks and check back here soon for more!