Have you ever been in a situation where your partner stepped out during your relationship but instead of leaving you decided to “work it out”. You may have decided to work things out because there are children involved, deep feelings, or you just wanted to give the relationship another go around. We aren’t here to judge your situation, because honestly a lot of people have felt the pain of their lover showing interest in someone else . You might say to yourself ” I love them” , but I still have trust issues and keep bringing up the past over and over again.The relationship becomes filled with even more stress because there are constant arguments that are fueled by those trust issues and insecurities. Keep reading for 7 Things You Should Think About Before Taking a Cheating Partner Back 1. Are They a Serial Cheater?
This is a very important question to ask yourself. When you and your partner started dating, were they already in a relationship with another individual? If the answer is yes, they have already demonstrated firsthand to you that they are not capable of being faithful in a relationship. If they have cheated previously during the duration your relationship, remember that they could always do it again; they will just be more careful next time. We aren’t going to sit here and scream, ” Once a cheater always a cheater”, but there is always a possibility that they will cheat again if they have done so in the past. If your partner has developed a pattern of cheating, they do not respect you or the relationship and they will ultimately continue to disrespect you if you continue to allow certain behaviors to continue. Remember that people do only what you allow them to do.
2. What Caused them to Cheat?
We feel that cheating is never the answer, because you always have the option to leave a relationship if you’re unhappy. For the purpose of this post, however, we will entertain the fact that maybe your partner “accidentally” slipped and fell into the arms of another person….without their clothes on? lol jk
It is very important to find out whether the incident that caused them to cheat was an isolated event with a genuine explanation and apology. This of course would make the situation a lot easier to forgive compared to a repeated slip up. If you do decide to entertain your partner’s explanation for cheating, try to put yourself if their shoes and imagine if you were in their predicament if you may have been tempted to do the same. Actually try and listen to them.
3. How Does Your Partner Plan to Handle Themselves if they Find Themselves in a Similar Predicament in the Future?
What exactly guarantees that your partner will not slip back into old behaviors and cheat on you again? This is a serious question that you need to have answered with your partner. When they get mad at you do they immediately go to the club and try to dance with all your friends or hook up with someone new. If your partner is not able to have self control and say “I have someone “, then they are doomed to hurt you again.
4. How Was Your Relationship When Your Partner Cheated?
At the time that your partner cheated, were you completely aware that they were unhappy in the relationship and that you both were having significant problems. For example, maybe the two of hadn’t been intimate for months and were thinking about calling it quits. You may be more willing to work out the situation if this were the case compared to if you were under the impression that you both were in a mutual undying love for one another. Consider the condition that your relationship was in. If you all decide to give the relationship another go around, make sure your relationship doesn’t hit rock bottom again. If your partner comes off as though your relationship is perfect, yet they are cheating on you this is a “red flag” waving in the air that they are not ready to commit to you and only YOU.
5. Do They Care How Their Actions Affected You?
Do they genuinely understand the pain that they have caused you. To be completely honest, if they love you and made a mistake they should be even more broken up about it than you are. If they are not able to listen to how you feel and really take in the situation with you, then it may be time to let the relationship come to an end. If they are rushing the process of understanding the situation and are pressuring you to just get over it or kiss and make up, they may in fact be using you. For example, they might want to settle things between the two of you so they can move back into the apartment that you both share together because they can’t afford to live on their own. Do not let this go and really pay attention to your partners actions. Remember always that actions speak louder than words.
6. Does Your Partner Want To Save The Relationship and Build Something New?
Is your partner committed to saving the relationship? You have to understand that the old relationship that the both of you shared is dead and completely damaged. It’s critical to realize this and to not attempt to pick up broken pieces of the relationship and try and fix what is already broken. This new perspective can be both exciting and a little scary but, if you’re both committed there is a chance. The both of you need to understand that trust is pretty much gone and that you both will have to work on rebuilding the trust in order to sustain a loving and stable relationship. As we all know, building trust is not something that is able to happen in 24 hours and will take time and most importantly patience. It is important to set some new ground rules for your new relationship so that the wall of trust will slowly be rebuilt. If you realize that the new rules and time building the relationship is too stressful, remember that you have the option to leave. Life is too short for unnecessary stress.
7. Do You Have the Ability To Trust You’re Partner Again?
This is the most important question! If you feel that you are unable to ever trust your partner again, do not waste your time trying to pursue a relationship with them. For example, maybe your partner cheated and got someone else pregnant or got an STD and did not tell you. You might be only communicating with them because you want revenge. We are here to tell you be the strong person that you are and move on. When you spend your time thinking about people that evidently do not have your best interest or have demonstrated that they can act without thinking of you it is time to focus on yourself. The person of your dreams could be right under your nose and you are busy stressing over one person that did not consider your feelings.
Remember that YOU have the power in the situation if you are the person being cheated on. You don’t have to stay with a cheater just because you’ve been in a relationship for years or even because you both share a child together. Just because you get cheated on, it does not make you less fabulous or attractive.You can still be fabulous with or without a partner.You just need to meet someone who is just as fabulous as you are!
To you cheaters out there, if you are unhappy in a relationship you have the option to leave as well and find the person that you want to be with and pursue. If you are not ready to settle down and commit to just one person, have fun being single and do not false hope to someone else.
Thank you for reading ! Send us some of your stories of how you and partner overcame cheating or did not! We would love to hear them. Comment below or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org Your story may be anonymously featured.