We all have that one friend that moves entirely too fast when they fall in love. It’s like one day they’re dating, a month later they’re engaged, and then three months later there’s a baby on the way. We all know that relationships evolve at their own pace, but sometimes individuals get caught in the excitement of a new relationship. They forget that being madly in love is not a notion to rush the stages of a relationship. We have received several emails regarding this topic asking how to slow down a relationship that is moving too fast without breaking up. If you feel that you are on the edge of ending a relationship due to stress of your partner’s constant hints that they are ready for the next step, keep reading on how to slow your relationship down.
The first step is to acknowledge that the relationship is moving too fast. Maybe you realized that you went from being completely independent with your own hobbies and interests to being completely glued to someone else. You can try spending a weekend apart or you can even try to lay off the texting and phone calls. Have a talk with your partner and let them know you would like some space to get back into a hobby or to even just have some time to yourself. It’s important to give each other that “time” to miss each other.
If your partner is not willing to take your needs into consideration and acknowledge that the relationship is moving too fast, there may need to be another conversation about compromising or possibly ending the relationship if you become too stressed. You and your partner must be on the same page. Personally, I have been in a situation where my significant other was ready to get a place together and I was not ready to give up the freedom of living alone. My partner at the time felt that if I was unable to take that next step in our relationship, then we had no future. If your partner ever feels that there is no room to compromise and negotiate, do not give in to their needs because you will ultimately resent them in the end. Do not force it.
In order to slow a relationship down, it’s important to hold off on meeting the family and friends. Automatically requesting your entire partner’s family on social media within a few days of dating is a big no. When you make plans to meet your significant other’s family and close friends, you are automatically progressing in your relationship and it’s critical to get to know your partner before introducing them to the most important people in your life .
When the time is right, you can always try a group date setting . Enjoy your new relationship and the stages that follow. If you are a person that has introduced many different loves to your family in the past we are not here to judge, however, your family may not be as willing to accept them right away. This is another reason to slow down the process of meeting the family and friends.
When you feel that you have found your soul mate, it’s very easy to make gestures to your partner about your future together. You may feel that your partner is constantly hinting at the future. You might be watching the travel channel together and they may say something like, “I would love to go to Fiji for my honeymoon”! They may even say something like, “I can’t wait until we get our first place together” or “you would look so good as a mother”. We all know that when you are dating someone in your twenties and beyond that the goal is to ultimately build with them and progress with one another but, hinting at marriage and long term commitment early in the relationship can be both scary and stressful on the relationship. Try to not say things relating to long term commitment in the beginning of the relationship in order to slow it down. Enjoy the present unknown.
We all speak so often on the necessary steps to progress in a relationship but, we neglect the steps required to slow one down. Create an even balance within your romantic life, personal interests, and social life. Remember that it is not the worst thing in the world to have open communication and honesty about your relationship. Whether you are in a new relationship or have been dating for a couple years, do not feel pressured to take the next step if you don’t feel ready.