Have you ever been in a relationship and realized you’re a complete catch? You actually have something going for yourself; whether it be a degree, a great job, your own place, your own car- you’re just overall working hard on yourself. You are the epitome of a boss! Despite your accomplishments, have you ever felt that they get belittled or minimized within your relationship? Maybe it’s not intentional but, you notice day by day that your partner is insecure about your success. It may feel impossible to understand, for the simple fact that you may be doing everything right. Can you fix your relationship if your partner can’t handle your accomplishments and ambitious attitude?
I’ve been in two serious relationships, and I can honestly say that my ambitious attitude and accomplishments were one of the ultimate reasons why they failed. I feel as though it is intimidating for some men to handle a partner that is doing significantly better than them career wise or is making bigger strides towards their dreams. Though I could have afforded to be Patrick Bateman’s date at Dorsia, I often found myself dining at a less desirable option to inflate my partner’s ego. When I would tell my partner about a new job opportunity or upcoming business venture, his mouth would say one thing, however, his body language would say something completely different. When Hazel and I stepped outside of the box and started blogging and getting business opportunities, my partner could not handle it. He would make comments to minimize my accomplishments, in order to fuel his comfort with his struggling career. In my situation, my partner gradually drifted apart from me and at the end of our long-term relationship told me he was not ready for a committed relationship. As I silently wept with my bottle of Pinot Grigio and my favorite serial killer documentaries, I realized something very important. How on earth could I expect someone to build a life with me when they have nothing to offer and no real accomplishments for themselves. As I drank the Pinot Grigio straight out of the bottle, I came to terms with the fact that some men lack the maturity level to initiate communication with their partner about their insecurities until it is in fact too late.
If you notice your partner is withdrawing from the relationship and is showing signs of insecurity, you should sit down and discuss this with them. This may or may not be something that they will openly admit and discuss; so try breaking the ice with saying, ” What are some goals that you would like to accomplish and how can I help”? If they are not willing to discuss the issue and continue to belittle your accomplishments, ask yourself if you really want a partner who is not completely rooting for you? I’ve admired men, that are capable of showing their woman off and showing their support. Even Jay Z is able to let Beyoncé shine at times!
Something that you have to realize is that you should never be ashamed of anything that you have accomplished in your life. You shouldn’t have to keep your mouth closed in your relationship about your accomplishments just because you don’t want to upset your partner. If your partner becomes insecure, it is a reflection on the things that they may be afraid to accomplish within their life or there may be a possibility they aren’t working as hard as you are. It doesn’t matter the explanation, what matters is that when you’re in a relationship you should always be able to share your successes and help each other reach your dreams. You shouldn’t feel like it’s a competition. If you are a very ambitious individual and are forever thinking about your next move; dating someone that it all “talk” and no “action” will create definite problems within your relationship.
Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner was insecure about your accomplishments and success? Tell us your experiences in the comments below and how did you handle it?