It’s that time of year again; where we carve the turkey, sit down at the dinner table and share what we’re all thankful for in the midst of family, smiles and holiday cheers. Of course if you’re anything like myself and the rest of the majority of America, then being in the midst of in laws might not be as appeasing when the only thing you’re thankful for is the fact that this day only comes around once a year. Still, those few hours can move you to drink a little more wine than normal, but don’t worry, we’ve got you covered; this is how you survive the in laws for the holiday season.
If you’ve found yourself clicking on this post, don’t worry, you’re not a bad person, you’re actually a very generous and good person for trying to find ways to get through thanksgiving this year. Now that we’ve comforted ourselves with a nice lie, grab some wine before the doorbell rings and let’s get started.
The first thing to note is that the holidays are usually when people are feeling extra generous with their “family spending” time and like myself, i’m not always jumping for joy when it comes to hanging out with in laws I’m not too fond of. So lets lay out some tips to get you and the in-laws through the season.
Develop the “I’m a family person” persona, just for the evening. If there’s one thing that in-laws love to see, its that the person dating or married to their family member is a “family person”. Why is this so important you might ask? They won’t be as threatened of you and your relationship if you show them, I love being around you just as much as the person i’m with. It sends the message that you won’t make your partner choose between them and you one day.
Offer to cook for Thanksgiving. Food is the way to everyone’s heart and the family that cooks together stays together. No seriously, cooking or preparing a dish with your in -laws is a great way to break the ice and maybe start a good conversation. You might learn something about them that may make them seem like they actually do have a soul and in the process, you might create a bond and have a few laughs. If you don’t cook, offer to pay for the food or help set the table. Either way, find some sort of excuse to spend a little quality time with your in-laws because not spending time with them is probably one of the barriers in your relationship.
Laughing is good for the soul, so try to have a lot of them. Games, movies or anything that you think would be enjoyable for the night is a great way to engage them. Its also another way to get them to see your playful or funny side. Getting you and your in-laws to enjoy each others company is the key to a good night and possibly the start of a good or better relationship.
The last but most important tip is to not psyche yourself up. Don’t tell yourself how terrible of a time this might be. Go into the situation with an open mind and an agenda to try and make it a smooth or even better, fun evening. If there’s one thing that will ensure you have a miserable time, its starting out with a terrible complex of how the night will play out. You don’t know that it will be a terrible time, so don’t tell yourself it will be. And if all else fails, just make sure you take a shot before the festivities begin. It’ll help with the nerves and everything will be a lot funnier when you’re drunk. I’m laughing right now for no reason.
To sum it all up, its the holidays and its meant to be enjoyed. The most important thing is realizing that no one should have the power to decide how you are going to feel or how your time will be spent, whether its with someone you dislike or not. You have the power to make this an enjoyable holiday season and don’t allow your relationship to take a turn for the worse because of in laws or anybody else. If you’re happy with your partner thats all that should matter. Besides, your partner is definitely going to be thankful at the end of the night to see you put effort into having a good relationship with their family and the people they love.
All in all, we hope you all have an enjoyable holiday season and good luck from the Dahlias!
Had a disastrous Thanksgiving or holiday dinner with your in-laws? We’d love to hear about it in the comment section below.
Written by Hazel of The Dahlia Girls