Too Damaged to Care About Relationships

By our early 20s, we typically have experienced a heart break in some shape or form.  You have experienced the beauty of free falling into love, and then have faced the reality that your relationship has failed or is no longer existent. This feeling is one that molds our idea of relationships and sometimes can destroy it.

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Whether you are a man or woman, when you give your all to someone else and it ends up not working out; something tragic happens. If you’re a man, it may take you literally forever to take another relationship seriously. You may become the guy that says things like, “I don’t like labels or titles”.  You may talk to your friends and boast about how you will never get married and will never trust another woman. Overall we can agree that as a “damaged” man, you will be emotionally unavailable.

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If you are woman who has had their heart broken, you naturally may have a wall up. Though you may want to find a special someone, your past relationships remind you to keep your guard up. I’ve spoken about my previous relationship in another post, and after being in a long term relationship for five years, I wasn’t necessarily in the mindset to even think about finding that special person. The thought of getting to know another person all over again and having to open up to someone new just turned me off completely. Thinking about having to get use to someone else’s favorite color , favorite meal or favorite music artist etc. was enough to make me vomit. I wanted some of Samantha Jones’ mentality from Sex in the City honestly. She was unapologetically herself and never let an “I love you” make her feelings change. tumblr_m1an1zJfud1r6bv6fo1_500

I learned it is  perfectly normal and fine to not want to jump into another relationship once your heart has been broken. However, there is a problem with holding every person that you meet and would like to potentially date accountable for the  actions of your infamous ex. Of course you should be aware of bullshit but, being “damaged” is only giving your ex power over you’re current situation. When you compare others to your ex, you are giving them power over you. So instead of feeling “damaged” after a failed relationship, how about you feel INVINCIBLE. Whether you are a man or woman, there is a way to be emotionally unavailable for yourself, in order to focus on the goals that you have set. Not necessarily emotionally unavailable because your ex forced you to look at relationships differently. No.

RULES TO BEING INVINCIBLE

Realize That Not Everything is in Your Hands

Don’t Lose Hope

Learn From You’re Experiences

Control Your Thoughts, Feelings and Emotions

Be Grateful

Surround Yourself with Positive Energy

Tune Out Negativity

Be Content with Your Current Situation and the Journey Towards Your Goals

Don’t Take Everything In Life Too Serious

Realize that You Have The Power To Change Your Surroundings

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Don’t allow someone who is not a factor make you “damaged ” goods.

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