I love you and you love me, we’re in a healthy relationship that can stand the test of time and nothing will ever come between us; until one of you morphs into the green eyed monster that tries to kill all of your significant others friends of the opposite sex. Here’s why friends of the opposite sex can ruin or strengthen a relationship.
“But you say he’s just a friend”
Alright fellas, so you managed to snag a hot one and you more than likely have some feelings involved in your relationship, so what’s so bad about your girlfriend having a guy friend?
We know men come from the planet ‘territorial’ where no one’s aloud to handle their ‘trophy wife’ but she’s a consenting adult that knows the difference between friend and boyfriend, right? So why do you allow those little voices in your head to manifest into an insecure, jealous, and paranoid version of yourself? Is it the fear of the unknown or the fact that netflixing could turn into netflix and chill with someone she’s ultimately friend zoned?
Well from my take, being in a relationship takes a considerable amount of work, time, energy and TLC so the love plate is already full. Throw a friend with the opposite biological makeup into the mix and you could have ingested a lethal concoction of relationship suicide. Thats because trust is fleeting and very fragile in almost any and every relationship.
Some will argue that friends in a relationship is bad juju, others will say its suffocating and controlling to not have the option, we say whatever works for your relationship is the best route to consider.
“Why You Always Lyin’”
Sure relationships can feel a little over bearing at times but you should never feel as though your significant other ultimately adopted you from your parents. That would go in the same inevitable ‘break-up’ category as matching name tattoos but sometimes that’s how people interpret trust.
We are all very tangible beings and it can be hard for us to have faith when we haven’t embedded tracking devices in our partners cars or covertly broken into their iphones.
But it’s only fair that if you expect your partner to be ok with you having “friends” in your contacts, then you should be just as accepting of theirs.
We know all relationships are not made equal and come packaged differently with all types of baggage but its very crucial to trust them no matter what. Its not mandatory you stay in your relationship; so just like its a choice to be with them, its also a choice not to be.
For example, if your partner cheated in the past and you are still with them, you may not be the convicted culprit but you’ve taken on the work of building trust again with your partner. So the past should be left right in the past where all the stench of bad memories go.
“I still get Jealous”
If those green eyes you have are natural because your possessed with the jealous monster, get an exorcism and quick. No one likes dealing with a jealous partner because of all the symptoms that come with it. Such as paranoia, suspicion, lack of trust; all of these things can kill a relationship quicker than diabetes.
Trust your partner, give them enough freedom to make decisions even the bad ones. Thats the only way to build anything, by allowing them to prove their loyalty to you and the relationship.
If you are the type of couple that doesn’t allow the opposite gender within 12 feet of your significant other and yourself, thats also fine. It’s understandable why some people would rather kill the temptation before it has a chance to get planted but wheres the fun…I mean trust in that.
The best way to prove to your partner you’re trust worthy is to trust them. Maybe it will end badly (don’t blame us) or maybe it’ll end in wedding bells. That’s the risk in every relationship and all relationships (no matter how perfect they look) are at risk. Solange confirmed that when she opened a can of whoop ass on Beyonce’s husband Jay-z.
To sum this all up, friends in a relationship isn’t necessarily that bad, of course that depends on a million different factors but who’s counting? We may trust our partners but it’s not very realistic to tell yourself that you and your partner are immune to infidelity because no one is. Ariel and myself always have said “If your partner is going to cheat, they’re going to cheat and there’s nothing you can do to stop them.” While that might not sound very appeasing to anyone on the market, it’s the hard truth. So don’t blame friends or the opposite sex, because we are all responsible for our choices. Lastly, know who you’re in a relationship with. Don’t throw logic out the window when you’re dealing with a womanizing bachelor, or the neighborhood man eater; chances are they didn’t get that title by being a good boyfriend or girl friend. So don’t put yourself in a high risk situation, if you’re fragile heart can’t handle the truth.
Let us know how you feel about friends in the comments section below. Thanks for reading!
Written By : Hazel of the Dahlia Girls