So often on social media, I see men and women debate what it means to be “wifey material”. Who wrote the set of rules that determines whether or not a woman fits the mold of what a wife should be. It is 2016 right? Women are taught that if they don’t dress or act a certain way, then they will not get a decent husband. Society places unnecessary pressure for us to find a husband and get married but, not without looking and acting a certain way.
It is no secret that NBA player Steph Curry’s wife, Ayesha Curry, is put on a pedestal for men and is considered the ideal “goal”when it comes to marriage. From a public standpoint, Ayesha fits the mold of a conservative wife; but where is the issue with a married woman like Kim Kardashian also coexisting. Who says that getting you an “Ayesha Curry” is going to solve all of your problems when it comes to a relationship; she’s not an antidote.
The standards of a woman being “wifey material” are overrated and here’s why:
- Social Life
We have spoken to several of our male friends and they all agreed that they would prefer a woman that doesn’t have a lot of friends and enjoys staying home most evenings throughout the week. Though there is nothing wrong with a woman that chooses to spend more time at home, there is nothing wrong with the women that are social butterflies. I personally believe that men who equate women having a social life with being bad wives/girlfriend, probably have a lot of insecurities and personal issues of their own. Personally, some days I could stay at home all day watching Netflix; and other days I want to turn up with my girlfriends. There are so many men that believe that if their girlfriend has a lot of friends then they are destined to cheat on them. I have never looked at a man and said, ” Oh yeah, he has tons of friends he must be a cheater”. It’s more of knowing the person and discovering that they are untrustworthy and not committed to a monogamous relationship. There is an obvious double standard when it comes to women and men having social lives while in a relationship, to the point where it is sometimes unhealthy.
2. Sex Life
In order to get married, women are held to the standard of saving the “goods” for their future husbands. To many, having a certain number of partners translates to a woman being a bad wife and a whore. Men always love to say that if a woman has a certain number of partners than she is “un-wifeable”; meanwhile many men have let their body counts reach astronomical limits. Why is a woman’s sexual history a primary flaw when it comes to marriage? I understand that men don’t want a woman that has been with everyone including some of their friends; but where is the harm in a woman having her own personal sexual experiences.
The way a woman dresses also comes into discussion when speaking on what is considered “wifey material”. I have actually witnessed others shame the way Queen B dresses and portrays herself in some of her music. They actually had the audacity to say, ” I don’t know how Jay Z could let his wife dress so sexually and sing about their sex life…..I would never let my wife dress like that”. I personally could have never thought of a more classier way to say that, “my husband ejaculated on my dress”; key word there is husband. Every woman has their own personal idea of what is sexy and their preferences. Some women feel more comfortable in a one piece at the beach, while some women are going to wear a thong bikini. With saying that, men have their own preferences as well. I don’t think anyone should say either woman would make a better wife, based on what she is wearing. (Plot Twist: the woman at the beach with the one piece and cover up might be the serial cheater with bad credit)
Get to know people before you make assumptions.
Raising Children/Traditional Duties
Is she a Kim Kardashian, an Ayesha Curry or a Victoria Beckham? Many people praise Ayesha Curry as the ideal traditional mother. She’s not “wifey material” if she doesn’t know how to cook, clean and maintain the household. I am in no way bashing the Ayesha Curry’s of the world, but I’m also not bashing the mothers that enjoy showing off their figures. People assume that once you have a child, you are supposed to turn off your sexy and dress more modestly.
Society needs to get rid of the sterotypical “expectations” of what and ideal wife or girlfriend should be. Every man and woman is different, therefore every relationship will be individually different. Some men don’t enjoy going out and partying; therefore maybe they would prefer a woman that is similar. But, completely saying that a woman that enjoys traveling or partying is also a cheater is unrealistic. I think that everyone has their own vision of a wife. However, no one should shame anyone else for their vision.