Should I Give My Man a Hall Pass?

After I nearly had a heart attack and a stroke simultaneously during the Warriors VS Cavaliers final game, social media was split  with support for LeBron James, Kyrie Irving and Steph Curry. As I stumbled across crying LeBron memes and the awkward silence from Ayesha Curry on Twitter……I found Rihanna on Instagram trolling Steph Curry and being overly supportive of her “bae”, LeBron. Let us not forget that LeBron has been married to  his high school sweetheart, Savannah, since 2013 and they have three children together. How does an openly single woman in Hollywood have the audacity to call a married man “BAE”, joke or not via social media. If your man was approached by an attractive woman, like Rihanna, would you give him a hall pass to cheat? 

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For those of you who do not know the definition of a “hall pass” within a relationship, it  is an opportunity to cheat on your partner. A “hall pass”  essentially gives your partner a break from monogamy and commitment for a duration of time. There are a few celebrities that have openly discussed giving out hall passes to their partners to include Mo’Nique, Toya Wright and Will Smith/Jada Pinkett  to name a few.It makes me wonder if behind closed doors, how many more women allow their men to have periods where they are permitted to cheat within the relationship. Does letting your man cheat a few times throughout the year really promote more honesty and trust within the relationship? Like we discussed previously in our video on Open Relationships; every relationship is different and maybe an annual break from monogamy is necessary for longevity for some couples. : 

However, the problem that I have with “hall passes” and just cheating in general is that it always seems to be one sided. I see more women allowing their men to cheat with a “hall pass” instead of letting the situation be mutual. Even Kobe Bryant’s wife, Vanessa, could have walked away with over $100 million after his cheating scandal and she still decided to stay. Do you think Kobe would have stayed if it was the other way around? I think not. In terms of celebrities or even just men in general, some of them have women throwing themselves at them daily. I feel that many women are naturally forgiving and understanding in terms of this. In addition, when a man is making significantly more money in a relationship the woman is more likely to put up with almost anything.  As women we are more likely to make excuses, pass judgement and are internally rooted with the belief that we can fix everything and change people. More specifically in this generation, it is almost as if women expect men to cheat, making it less shocking when infidelity comes to light. Many women are amazed when they are in a relationship with  someone that doesn’t have the desire to cheat and embarrass them.

If you already believe that your partner may be cheating on you or that there is a strong possibility , then a “hall pass” may be an option that you are considering to promote more honesty and trust. When considering a “hall pass”, it is important to understand that there are potential risks involved, here are a few:

  1. Pregnancy and STDs contracted during the “hall pass”
  2. You have opened the door for cheating to occur at any point in time. You get in a fight over “what’s for dinner” and your partner might go over someone else’s house for some “hall pass” sex
  3. The other person involved that your partner is sleeping with may start to develop feelings or is better than you in bed?

With saying all of this, if given the opportunity should Savannah let Rihanna sleep with LeBron….or even leave the door open for a threesome as an option?

I’m personally the type of person that generally promotes self confidence and security within relationships, however,  if you let Rihanna sleep with your man you might not get him back. I’ve seen women on social media all day today  saying things like “Yes” and “of course I would let my man sleep with Rihanna”, knowing damn well they would be scared to death.  Though Savannah and LeBron have have known each other for years and have a beautiful family, I honestly feel that things may be in jeopardy after a “hall pass”. Rihanna has zero cares in the world and publicly reminds us every chance she gets. Imagine how she would push Savannah a side in the bedroom. I wouldn’t take any chances, especially if I couldn’t  be slightest bit involved in the fun.

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My overall advice, if you are considering a “hall pass” make sure that it is mutual. One of the dumbest things I see is women giving out passes for their partners to cheat and they are sitting at home being faithful and stupid. In addition, make sure the terms of the “hall pass” is discussed in detail including what is the purpose of the “hall pass” to begin with. I have a friend that doesn’t believe in giving her husband oral sex, so she allows and trusts him enough to experience this with other women outside of their relationship on a “hall pass”. While I think not giving your husband oral sex is childish, it seems to work for their relationship. I’m not going to sit here an preach that “hall passes” within relationships are pointless and unnecessary because some relationships require different components in order for them to work. All I am saying is make sure you know what you are doing and what you are getting yourself into when you willingly give your partner the permission to cheat on you.

Thank you to all of our #Pushers for reading! 

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