Friendzoned? 6 Reasons Why it’s Your Fault

Your whole life, you’ve been labeled as the “cute nice guy”, but you finally meet a woman that peaks your interest. She’s beautiful, you both like the same movies and she was rooting for the same team in the NBA finals. In your mind, you two start “dating” and you see her potential, possibly even a future. You buy her drinks, gifts, expensive dinners, chauffeur her around town and are always there when she’s having a shitty day. Your mission to completely WOO her and sweep her off her feet is in full affect.  Months pass by where you have proudly shown your interest in her. You finally get the balls and decide to ask to take things to the next level; an exclusive relationship. She proceeds to reject you with the infamous line, ” You know we’re just friends, right”? At this very moment you’re dying inside, at the audacity she has to label you “just a friend”, when you have invested so much time and money on her ungrateful a**.  You have officially been sentenced to the friendzone  for life without possibility of parole. As you’re gasping for air trying to escape, you realize that she had tossed you into this category months ago. Here are 6 Reason Why it’s Your Fault You’re in the Friendzone: 

You Didn’t Make Your Intentions Known

When you first meet a woman, it’s important to make your intentions known as early as possible. At a minimum, you should at least let her know that you ARE NOT just looking for a friend. If you are in fact ready to settle down or even just want sex, then open up your mouth and make it known. Realistically, some women are only emotionally looking for a friend which may or may not turn into a relationship. If a woman tells you from the beginning that she is only looking for a friend, do not go into the situation believing that you can change her mind.

On the other hand, some women are looking for a relationship but, just aren’t interested in one with you from the get go. Let’s keep it real, a lot of people do judge the cover of the book before reading it, and she just might not be as physically attracted to you as you are to her. Sometimes women give different responses to men based on their level of physical attraction to them. Which brings me back to the initial statement, make your intentions known.


You Didn’t Take the Lead

Men that don’t know how to take the lead, are often times considered weak to women. Even women that consider themselves independent, enjoy a man that is able to take control and the lead every now and again when it comes to a date or even just in general. If you are a man that is constantly passive and submissive or in other words, a BETA male ; you may get friendzoned quite often and quickly. Women like men that don’t make excuses,maintain  confidence in their abilities and demand respect. If you have demonstrated in any shape or form that you may have some BETA male characteristics,  she will subconsciously take you out of the “options pool” for a potential relationship. Advice: Learn how to take the lead. Start off by boosting your confidence and planning a date on your own. If she has agreed to go out with you and you know for a fact she’s looking for a relationship, then let her know “Hey, I planned a date for the two of us; I know how much you like {insert her favorite place or restaurant}.


You Didn’t Get Physical 

Physical intimacy is very important and separates someone that is a potential love interest from just a friend. Disclaimer: This does not mean try and have sex with her the entire date and make nasty suggestions. If you feel that there is chemistry on the date, there is nothing wrong with some minor physical contact: a touch on the arm or on the hand. If you can feel things really heating up, go in for a kiss. It is also not a bad idea to notice her physical attributes on a date. If she looks beautiful in her dress or outfit, then tell her. It demonstrates that though you may be interested in her intellect, you also see her body. Which is something that a “friend” wouldn’t notice.  This is not to say that any of you men should tell a woman ” your tits look great in that halter top”. Choose your words wisely. Then again, some women are into that these days.


Didn’t Strike at an Opportunity 

Some men make the unfortunate mistake of going “too slow” when it comes  to the beginning stages of forming a potential relationship. Maybe the woman could see you as a potential boyfriend, but you waited 3 months to ask her on a date. This is not particularly a power move, especially when she has already asked you out for drinks a couple of times. Yes, many women do feel more comfortable with a man that makes the effort to get to know them. However, it is important to seize certain opportunities as they come to the forefront.


Didn’t Know when to Let Go

If you realize that she has placed you in the friendzone don’t get all crazy and send her 1000 text messages or stalk her Instagram. Move on. It doesn’t matter how much money you have spent on her or how many times you were there when she was drunk…Let it go. Once a woman has placed a man in the friendzone, it is almost impossible to get out. There is always the chance that things could be different in another galaxy or time, but DO NOT get your hopes up and stick around. If you have already been spending money on a woman that has placed you in the friendzone, she will sometimes start using you because she knows you are weak and aren’t going anywhere. She knows what to say to  you to keep you on a tight leash, even when you start trying to meet other women.  Don’t be a victim of her mind games.


No Other Options 

Until you are 100% on the same page with someone else in terms of mutual exclusivity, always keep other options. Being monogamous to someone that you’re not in a relationship with is not going to make them like you more. This is not me saying that you should be out here giving your number out to every woman and have unapoloagetic one night stands (unless that’s what you’re into). I’m just saying, there’s nothing wrong with going out for drinks with someone new if the opportunity arises. Don’t limit yourself. If you have options, you are less likely to come across clingy and needy to a woman. Even if there isn’t another girl in the picture, still make sure you’re having fun with your bros and even your family. Some women don’t like men that are always available at the drop of a dime. Show her that you do have other options when it comes to your time.


©2016 The Dahlia Girls, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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