I’m not at all against rebound relationships and I do believe that many people use them to get over the pain from their ex. Some people gain 100 lbs after an intense breakup, while some jump head first into a rebound situation in order to fulfill their sexual and emotional needs. When I look at Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston or think of when Kylie Jenner and PartyNextDoor had a brief hook up; I can’t even fix my face to have a side eye. So many people engage in rebound sex and relationships after they’ve had their heart broken; fame does not make them exempt. (Although, it’s still very uncertain as to whether Calvin Harris actually broke Taylor’s heart). The reality of it all, is that breakups can leave you feeling empty and alone. Sometimes people want that shoulder to cry on or just simply the intimacy that they no longer have with their ex. This is when people start to explore their options and turn to all those unsaved numbers in their phone looking for a “rebound”. Here are 7 Keys to Take into a Rebound Relationship:
Define the “Rebound Relationship”
The worst thing you can do is run into a rebound situation without a clean cut definition to the other party involved of what you’re looking for. From the beginning, make your partner aware that you are not interested in anything serious or vocalize that you have recently gotten out of a long term relationship. If you’re just interested in sex and a movie every now and then, let that be known. Of course you don’t necessarily owe anyone an explanation, but trust me when I say it will make the situation go smoother. Defining the needs and wants in a rebound situation will allow everyone to be on the same page and for less opportunity for miscommunication. That void that you are hoping to temporarily fill through a rebound will successfully be filled through active communication and honesty.
Set the Pace
You may fall into the category as someone who has spent years in a shitty unsatisfying relationship. Whether you were with the fuckboy of the century or had a woman like Amy Dunne from the movie “Gone Girl”; it is important to get control over your urges. Though you may feel the strong urge to find someone that can actually treat you right and fulfill your needs; take your time. It’s perfectly natural for people to want to be happily committed to one person, however, this can also cause us to make irrational decisions in a rebound relationship. Don’t allow your sense of urgency to find a replacement after “lost time” cause you to rush into a situation that will make things worse. Rebound or no rebound, it is critical to put your needs first.
Discover the Purpose of the Rebound
It is important to understand that rebound relationships are often times a distraction. As long as you don’t try to convince yourself otherwise, you will be fine. The connection that you have with your partner in a rebound relationship allows you time to focus on someone that isn’t your ex and to mask the emotional pain that may still be present. We all know that just because you break up with someone, the love doesn’t necessarily go away. Remember that rebound relationships are a quick solution, and can often times be a fun mechanism to mend a broken heart. Just always be honest with yourself. If you have a fear of being alone or moving on, acknowledge those feelings.
Rebounders Keep Your’s Emotions to Yourself
It is perfectly normal to vent and release all your emotions regarding your ex over some cocktails and meaningless sex with your rebound, however, don’t ever get TOO emotional. Never say the dreaded ” I love you” or ” I think I might be falling for you”, within your rebound relationship. This will make things extremely difficult and add complexity to the situation. The truth is, you don’t love them and you’re an emotional wreck. Never go into a rebound relationship hoping to fall head over heels in love no matter how perfect the other person is. Take the situation for what it is and have fun.
Give Space when Things Run Hot and Cold
Remember that a rebound relationship is not necessarily an actual committed situation. By committed, your rebound typically isn’t labeled as your boyfriend or girlfriend. If that were the case, you wouldn’t be in a rebound relationship and reading this post. Therefore, there is no reason why you should be blowing anyone’s phone up when there isn’t an immediate text response or that you should flip out over an Instagram post. Unless there is a mutual agreement somewhere, space should be given if you don’t hear from your rebound for a couple of days or even a week. Play things cool at all times. If you are interested in keeping your rebound in the picture, don’t be territorial or jealous. Take things as they come.
Don’t Expect Anything
When in a rebound relationship, you may be trying to make your ex jealous. Your rebound may agree to join in on the fun and take cozy pictures for Instagram and engage in other petty acts in front of your ex. Despite this, you shouldn’t expect your rebound to give you public attention on social media, buy you gifts for holidays and remember all your favorite things. You shouldn’t expect anything except fun out of a rebound relationship. Do not complicate the situation with unrealistic expectations, especially if you both have established the rules from the get go. Just because you are having amazing sex with someone on a consistent basis, it doesn’t mean you have to buy them a birthday gift or shoot them an honorary text. Stay in your role.
Remember that rebound relationships rarely evolve into committed ones. If at any time you feel that you are ready for something more serious, let it be known. Don’t torture yourself or your rebound by acting weird. Once a rebound relationship has run its course, accept that fact and move on.
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