Are You a Loyal Woman or Just a Dumb Ass?

A lot of people loosely throw the word “loyalty” around as if  it’s a quality that everyone possesses. In regards to a relationship, loyalty towards your partner is definitely one of the major keys that can either make or break it.  Consistently showing your support and allegiance to your partner can help build a relationship with longevity and trust. Despite this, many women are often loyal to the wrong men. They either get caught up in their emotions and lead with their heart or end up leading with pleasureful desires if they become “dickmitized”.  Both are equally unsatisfying.  So the question is, at what point does being a loyal woman become a dumb ass decision?

At what point do you have to look at yourself in the mirror and say “Wow , I”m being a dumb ass over a man who doesn’t see my worth”. The idea of loyalty is that you will be there to support your man, even during times when he has nothing to offer you. He may be an active student living off of Ramen noodles everyday or a struggling entrepreneur trying to get his business ideas off of the ground. He may not have a car or even his own living space. The expectation is that a loyal woman will remain by her man’s side throughout all of the trials and tribulations and maintain her support for his aspirations. She won’t nag or belittle him when he doesn’t have enough money to buy her nice gifts or take her out on a date. The loyal woman is there from the beginning throughout it ALL. With saying this, a woman that remains in a relationship with a man knowing that he does not have much to give her in return sees a lot of potential in him. She sees a possible future with him and a light at the end of the tunnel. She’s looking at a man’s situation and adding the possible gains in the long run.

A woman that is willing to stick around when her man has nothing, generally has her own goals and aspirations. She’s typically also trying to  build a life for herself while simultaneously following her own dreams. A lot of men require  strong women to continuously push them to demand that promotion, to invest in their brand, or to save their money…..etc. I completely believe in supporting your man when in a relationship but, at a certain point the support can turn into enabling and coddling them. There’s no reason why a woman should be working her ass off and then feeling the need to “push” her man in the right direction. There is a very thin line between being a motivator and doing all the work for your partner. When you look at yourself as a woman and see that every year you are hitting a different milestone and your man continues to be in the same exact position with no sense of urgency, it’s a huge slap in the face. It’s almost as if you see their potential more then they see it. You then have placed yourself in a crossroad where you are being loyal to a man that doesn’t even necessarily see his own greatness, yet he wants you to treat him like “greatness”. He wants you to continue to entertain his struggle when there is no action to match his words. Maybe you’re being loyal to the wrong person?

Many people believe that loyalty is simply not cheating on your partner and embarrassing them on social media. A lot of women think their man is loyal if he can go out with his friends and not give out his number or f*ck another woman behind their back. People fail to realize that loyalty runs much deeper than this.  Being a loyal woman doesn’t mean you take your man back every time he f*cks you over, supporting his poorly planned dreams or even holding his hand every step of the way when he’s working on his life. Sometimes being a loyal woman means giving respectful constructive criticism , being brutally honest and leaving when you aren’t happy.

Something that I had to realize for myself is that not everyone is going to be as ambitious and goal focused as you may be. Not everyone is going to be a self starter or internally have the desire to hustle until they make their dreams a reality. Not everyone is going to  want more than a 9-5 job and paid sick leave. Some people go to college, land their dream job and want nothing more out of life. This may be confusing but, you have to understand that every one wasn’t born to create and see the bigger picture. The hard truth is that an ambitious attitude is not something that you can teach someone. It is a quality that is manifested within someone’s soul.

 

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