Now not every girl is the same but I’m speaking for about 70% of the female population when I say sports is about as interesting as watching grass grow. I mean for one it all looks the same and they all end one way or another with someone winning and losing so really how interesting can it be? The Olympics, as respected as they are, still produces little excitement for the sports repulsed woman. Don’t let those rare “awesome babe” moments fool you when your team happens to win, we’re programmed to say that. Here’s what your girlfriend thinks about the olympics.
1) If I can’t even grasp the concept of basketball what makes you think the olympics which consists of damn near every sport ever played will be any easier to understand?
2) I guarantee you if you tap your girlfriend on the shoulder right now and ask her when the next summer olympics is, she will say 2017.
3) Wow I’ve heard the name “Usaine Bolt” I heard the name so much I thought he was American.
4) Why are there so many different versions of every sport? Why can’t a 200 meter track and field just be the end all? They’ve proven enough.
5) Preliminary’s? What’s that? Oh you mean this is the Olympic version of a playoff before the super bowl? Don’t judge me, it makes sense this way (even though it’s still wrong).
6) So contestant in lane 1 totally doesn’t have a chance.
7) How can Michael phelps have won over 20 gold medals if the Olympics only happens every 4 years? Now I’m no mathematician but that would make him like way older than 30.
8) Ryan Lochte looks way hotter as a brunette. Now he looks like some sort of villain in the DC comics and I’m somehow very turned on.
9) Ok I will admit I’ve been keeping up with the American girls gymnastic team on snapchat and go Simone Biles!
10) Wait even Caitlyn Jenner has one of these gold medals everyone is losing their shits for. It always leads back to the Kardashians!
11) What’s the point again in being able to say you can pole vault your ass off the best?
12) This the most lit guys gymnastics team ever!
13) I didn’t even know the Olympics was happening until I saw it trending on Twitter. #PhelpsAboutToGoHam
14) Why don’t they have better bead work for the ladies leotards? Who’s their seamstress?
15) I cried when Katie Ledecky won the gold for the U.S. and I didn’t even see the match.
16) How many sports and how many countries with how many finals for which seasons and why are there judges?
17) When is this over? Just keep smiling, he’ll never find out you skipped the cable bill to put an end to this; its day 14, I’m done.