Of all the greatest lessons I ever learned in life the most memorable came from one of the best movies ever created; He’s Just Not That Into You. The opening scene explains how women from childhood are programmed to think that when a boy is mean to you it’s because he likes you. How fucked up is that? We’ll wonder no more, I’m going to dissect the true meaning behind “I’m not ready for a relationship”.
I’m pretty certain almost every woman can remember the talk mom had with you after complaining about that boy at school that kept teasing you. She’d explain that he’s being a little jerk because he has a crush on you and can’t verbalize his feelings. Then in high school your best friend probably comforted you with the lie that your crush in Chem class started dating someone else because he was too afraid to ask you. Just recently you may have had the talk with that guy you’ve been seeing and he said a big “hell no” to an exclusive relationship. Your friend or therapist may have suggested it’s because of his career or some other personal obligation. Well to every man that broke your heart along the way and may have left you hurt and confused, it’s because he didn’t want you.
There’s the answer to life’s greatest pre-relationship riddle. Gone are the days of skimming through Cosmopolitan magazine just to take the “does he like me” quiz. Another great perk is your data rates are about to drop drastically due to the lack of dramatic phone calls to your besties. I know that hard truth may have stung a bit but there’s a huge upside to this.
First allow me to explain how I know the man in question is nothing more than a tool. Any man that you may be involved with will never leave you questioning if he’s attracted or has feelings for you. There are exceptions to this, such as, if you two just met 3 weeks ago he shouldn’t be making any declarations of love this soon. And if he is, call the authorities now. Then there’s also the legendary he actually isn’t ready for a relationship, but it’s a legend for a reason; it rarely happens. A man that’s wants you won’t generally give away the opportunity to someone else, even if he’s a little weary. He’ll find some roundabout way to keep you around without shutting you down.
Now the upside to a man reciting the infamous rejection phrase “I’m not ready for a relationship” is now you know. The important thing to note is men are not like women. They usually don’t say things they don’t mean like us ladies who like to throw hints, clues, and pop quizzes around. If he says “let’s take it slow” that’s what he means. If he says “I’m not ready” that’s what he means. Don’t recycle the same f*cked up mentality from elementary school that when a boy does something mean he likes you. Now you’re dealing with men, grown ass men, that have been on this rodeo before. They’ve since learned how to speak, consume alcohol by the gallons and go after women they want. They also learned throughout life how to minimize a woman’s crazy by being as upfront as possible.
So don’t gain 26 pounds and sink into a depression if he utters the words “I’m not ready” because he’s given you the best gift of all. Your time. Now you can make an informed decision to leave and find mr. Right or keep wasting your youth. Just remember if you chose the latter, you don’t have as much time to make a comeback like you did when you were 7 to find the one that’s ready. Always value yourself first and others will to, that’s the only effectively known way to stave off the losers.