Doesn’t matter if you’ve been single for years, months, or hours; most people eventually choose to return to the dating world. But who wants to recycle the same bullsh*t that stunk up your last relationship? I know I don’t. If you’re sick of failing at this game called love, I’ve compiled a list of worst places to meet your next boyfriend that’ll hopefully aid you in the process of finding Mr. Right.
This is all from personal experience so please don’t think any less of me. Just know that I sacrificed myself for a good cause. Now let’s check out that list.
1) club – of course the club was making the number one spot on this list because it is the worst of the worst. People frequent clubs for one of three reasons : alcohol, entertainment, and one night stands. No one is thinking about anything long term at a place like this. Its more along the lines of “I need to get laid and you look decent enough for the job.” This has a story book ending written all over it. Don’t get me wrong plenty of couples have met at the club, then they usually spend the remainder of relationship begging their boyfriend to stay in for the night. You know what they say? How you got them is how you lose them.
2) church – I know this sounds weird but church isn’t always the best place to meet your next boyfriend and here’s why. Someone who frequents church or is more religious than the average person is generally seen as square or perfect. We expect this man to be the most upstanding citizen that loves our mother more than us, always leaves a hefty tip for the waiter, and most importantly never lets us down. Congratulations, you just committed yourself to a lifetime of disappointment. Just because someone is religious doesn’t mean they are perfect. There will be days where the human in him takes over and he may make a poor decision or two. Eventually you might even realize you were more in love with the idea of him than who he actually is. Then again, denial isn’t so bad.
3) work – the only issue with falling in love with a co-worker is damn near everything. This could even potentially ruin your life if things don’t work out. Depending on how bad the split was there are several things they could do to make your place of work your own personal hell (as if it already isn’t). They could spill any secrets you may have told them during the relationship, they could attempt to tarnish your character with lies or the truth about your time together. Even if they don’t try to ruin your life after the break up, think about how awkward those breaks at the water cooler will be now that you get to see your ex everyday. In other words, forget about the hot guy at work you share pens with, it’s a trap.
4) mutual friend – the heart wants what it wants but never let it want anything that has to do with friends. Just like you shouldn’t mix business and pleasure, you shouldn’t mix friendship and pleasure either. How great would it be to find out they’re a little more aquatinted with your friends than you may have liked. I don’t know about the rest of you but I would appreciate it if my partner hadn’t slept with any of my friends out of all the billions of people on the planet. Maybe they have a clean track record and never hooked up with anyone you know. But if things don’t work out, you can forget about your friends ever wanting to hang out with you or your ex again. Or they could just ex you out of the group to alleviate any possible drama. Either way you’re commiting friendship suicide if things don’t end with a wedding. Any sort of split will make your friends feel entitled to pick a side and it might not be yours.
5) out of town – why meet anyone out of town and fall in love? Relationships are already difficult enough when you live down the street from each other. Not to mention this is a dream situation for the quintessential player. Most of these types have a fling in every area code that they can contact for a quick or easy lay. Then again they might not be a player but can you handle not seeing them as much as you would someone that lives in your area. Not being able to go out on dates, hold their hand, or have sex, makes long distance relationships move at a slower pace. The same way we calculate a dogs age, 1 human year equals 7 dog years. Well 1 long distance relationship year equals 6 weeks of normal dating in a relationship (give or take).
6) family reunion – you would hate to sleep with your cousin, right? Unless you’re into that kind of thing, making this type of mistake has been known to cause insanity. Everyone has a couple of sex skeletons in their kinky closet but this one should never make the cut.
7) online/social media – apart from the fact you could be falling for a sociopath or serial killer, you could even end up on the next season of catfish. Dating is scary but anytime you depend on wifi to get to know someone, they could be serving you lie after lie. This can happen in person as well but it’s much easier to cross reference everything they say when all you have to do is stop by their office one day to see if they really do own a company. Not as easy when so many people hide behind technology. The followers could be bought, that chain could be fake and he may have cropped himself in that picture of him and Barack Obama playing basketball together. Online dating has a few other responsibilities attached to it, so be ready to take them on whenever you meet someone. And make sure to meet them in a public place, we don’t need you to end up on the back of a milk carton.