Fellow Americans, we’ve been through a lot of shit these last few months and now that the election is at its peak there’s something we need to discuss. Donald trump is some votes away from the Oval Office. And if that doesn’t scare you enough, maybe this list will. Here’s 5 reasons to vote for Donald Trump.
1) He’s a lover of the people
No seriously, Donald trump loves people so much he wants to send everyone back to their homelands. I’m talking deportation. Trump has mentioned building a wall between the US and Mexico as a way to keep illegal immigrants out of the country and gosh darn it, maybe he’s onto something. They only make up about 1/3 of our economy so who needs them? In case you need a clue, I’m totally being sarcastic. The economy would collapse without Americas foreigners and since trump is such a renowned business man you’d think he’d know this. Nope. There is such a thing as stupid to Donald’s degree.
2) He hates losers. Isn’t it awesome to have a presidential candidate that only praises winners? I mean why not? Time out for all those leaders of the free world that give away medals to people that sacrificed their lives for our country. Trump stated senator John McClain couldn’t be a war hero because “he was captured” and Mr. Trump likes “people that weren’t captured.” What an insensitive son of a… i’ll let you all finish that line.
3) He’s oh so relatable. If there’s one thing about Trump is he understands the American people. Hell, he’s so humble he doesn’t even pay taxes; allegedly. During Monday night’s presidential debate, Democratic presidential nominee Hilary Clinton mentioned trump hadn’t “paid any federal income tax for a lot of years.” To which Trump replied “It would be squandered too.” Read into his words what you will but it sure sounds like he admitted to not paying taxes to the government he’s running to become president over. *insert thinking emoji.
4) And the cause of global warming is. (Drumroll please) The Chinese. In a tweet recovered from 2012, Donald seems to believe the Chinese had created global warming for business reasons; because that’s what rich people do. They deconstruct earths atmosphere for money. Don’t believe me? I can’t make this stuff up. Check out Trumps tweet below.
5) He wants to make America great again. Amongst several other ridiculous statements made by our republican presidential candidate, trump has not been quiet about his feelings. He even went as far as to create a strategy to keep America safe from terrorists by banning Muslim immigrants. Oh how smart he is. His idea is to stop immigration “from any nation that has been compromised by terrorism.” As if terrorism can be narrowed down by territories. Last time I checked, terrorism didn’t have a home town. Then again, this is Trumps idea.
The more I criticize Trump by reliving his absolute dumbest moments, the more brain cells I lose. Maybe he can borrow some from his wife, Melania Trump. Might be a bad idea seeing how she likes to plagiarize speeches. Either way, America is in for a shit show of a presidential election and I have a feeling Donald is just warming up. And if you in any way think Donald Trump is a good candidate for the presidency, I have one rebuttal. #KanyeForPresident