Most Common Lies Women Tell

When it comes to man vs woman, many will say women are more skilled at being sneaky and they’re right. We lie better, manipulate better, we even cheat better. How do you end the cycle of fake-ness? Only by questioning anything and everything we’ve ever said. Here’s the most common lies women tell.

-He’s just a friend
Yea, a friend that gives away orgasms and emotional fulfillment. Men have every right to be a little suspicious of those boy toys we call “friends” because they’re around for a reason. She could’ve totally friend zoned him and you have nothing to worry about in that case. The problem is, even if she doesn’t have feelings, he more than likely does. Or has pictured her naked at least a dozen times.

-“I don’t sleep around”
If she feels a need to say that to you, watch out. A woman that isn’t promiscuous wont think to utter the words because she already knows her self control game is on 10. These types of women are also determined to beat their bestie down the alter and if she thinks you’re the man for the job, sex isn’t happening for a while. Just know if a woman says “I don’t sleep around” she definitely sleeps around.

-“I weigh like …”
Ok so, take whichever number she conjures up and add about 28 pounds. Then you’ll have a ball park figure of her actual weight. And if you’re the type of guy that cares, you’re a dick.

-“I hate my ex”
Translation : I’m still totally in love with my ex and you’re just here to pass the time until I’m over him. It may not be a total lie though. She probably hates him all in the same token.

-“That was amazing”
It could have been great but the best way to detect if this is a lie is to watch her reaction during sex. If it’s actually that good we’re not really conscious enough to form a sentence. Sorry.

-“I’m not the jealous type”
This lie is laughable because every female is the “jealous type.” We just do our best to hide it from you. But if we try to convince you we’re not the jealous type it’s because we’re trying to prepare ourselves to not have a reaction when you interact with other women.

-“I’m not crazy”
She probably killed her last 4 ex’s and scattered their remains nearby. She’s definitely psychotic and if you don’t want to be victim number 5 never call her again.

-“Mom’s love me”
This is a lie because even if she really thinks she gets along with her current partners mother, the mom probably doesn’t like her. 9/10 times mothers never like their sons partners unless the partner is the reincarnation of mother Theresa. Actually, even if that were the case, the mom would probably still have an issue with her being to charitable or something.

-“I’m on a diet”
Never heard of a dieting regimen that consisted of whatever the hell you felt like eating but sign me up. We like to sound interesting and more refined so don’t be shocked if we disguise ourselves as ms. perfect with diet plans and yoga classes.

-“I love sports”

Just ask her to name the quarterback of her favorite team and watch her say Lebron James. Yea she’s a liar but you’ll have a good laugh.

Yes we conceal majority of the truth in a sticky web of lies but we do it for you. I know that sounds odd but hear me out. Usually when we lie it’s because we think we’re protecting your feelings. That’s right, lies can be a good thing. This mentality is exactly why I’m single and in therapy.

 

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