If I had an oracle or a magic crystal ball that could answer any question I would need to know 3 things; the cure to cancer, how the Kardashians did it and why are men so confusing. In case you ever wondered what I spend my time thinking about, it’s those three mysteries of life. Thanks to a crash course in the world of dating and a lot of tequila, I may have come closer to figuring out men and why they do the shit they do. Let’s discuss these findings. Continue reading “Why He Never Called Back”
New snap confession in and hot off the press! So sit back, relax and enjoy as we try to figure out this thing, game, nightmare we call life. As you all may know we have a segment called #SnapConfessionals where people submit questions or life experiences to us that they may have never shared with anyone else and we offer our honest opinion as they remain anonymous. This week’s confession reads: Continue reading “My Ex Hurt Me, How do I Move On? | #SnapConfessional”
Of all the horrible things that can happen in one lifetime, the scariest for me is regret. I will consider it a personal success if I die an old lady, confident about most of the life decisions I made. Not everyone is so lucky to experience such a smooth transition into kicking the bucket but there is a way to reverse any damage you may have caused. Just learn from me and my ridiculously stupid mistakes in a post I’d like to call : What I wish I would’ve known at 20.
Ok so I am only 25 at the moment, in case you were wondering, but that doesn’t mean life hasn’t thrown a few curve balls at me. I have the battle wounds to prove it. Lets take a look back at my misfortunes due to me being a reckless 20 something failure :
Loyalty (family, friends & relationships) – How come nobody tells you that people ain’t shit? Excuse me, where are my manners? Correction, how come no one tells you people aren’t shit? There we go. Its painfully sad but true. Family is just a group of people comprised by blood, DNA, and genes. Nothing more or less. Loyalty is what separates family from relatives and there is a huge difference. I really thought at 20, just because I’m related to this person, they’ll always have my back. I had a very rude awakening with a very close “relative” of mine and never fully recovered from it.
Friends? Ha! Where do I begin? Maybe we can start with the fact that if you can’t even trust family, can you really trust strangers? Mmm, nope. Friends are just people as well, with their own agendas and motives that you’ll probably never truly know. The best thing about fake friends is they are way easier to cut off than a shifty relative. Just quit answering their calls, you don’t really have to worry about seeing them at thanksgiving unless they start dating someone in your family. Now that’s just the frenemy from hell.
At 20 I definitely thought I had this whole relationship thing figured out. Stay cute, cook and clean, pick your battles, have sex frequently and never interrupt a Sunday football game. Unfortunately none of that matters. You can be the best boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse in the world but it also comes down to how good of a person your partner is. I exhausted myself for years trying to be the perfect girlfriend and none of it mattered. It’s nice not having to fake a smile through a whole game of football and not having to beat my face to perfection everyday anymore. Now its all about sweatpants, takeout, and the peaceful reality of knowing that no one wields the remote control except I (that sounded single and lonely as fuck). Now I’ve joined the sorry statistic of people wandering life alone, paranoid, afraid and full of trust issues thanks to these life lessons.
Future – I wasn’t raised making my own decisions nor was I allowed to have a problem with the decisions made for me. I never really thought for myself, what I wanted to do in life or with my future. So when my parents told me where to go to college and what to study; I applied, got accepted and studied a major I absolutely fucking hated. I don’t know how I got through life never asking myself what I wanted out of it but I wasn’t truly living. I really believed adulthood was all about going to college, getting a job, marrying your soulmate and having babies. This was probably the only thing in life I had thought about and knew I absolutely did not want any part of. The mere thought of getting married and having children actually gave me sweaty palms and a slight migraine (even now). My distaste for adulthood probably saved me from making the ultimate mistake because I wasn’t ready then and I’m not ready now.
What I wish I could’ve told my 20 year old self? That you are in complete control of your life. Family, friends, and relationships will come and go and you have to learn how to cope with that. You also need to learn to accept people for the asses that they are and then decide if they’re someone that you should have in your life. Stop killing yourself trying to be the perfect girlfriend, daughter, sister and friend to everyone. If its real, they’re going to love you regardless of your failures and imperfections.
Slow down for a second, stop going with the motions and ask yourself what do you want. If you don’t know, think about it. Take some time to find yourself and allow yourself to heal from the past. After a nice cry, pour yourself a drink. get over it and live fabulously. You’re going to experience some setbacks and that’s good, setbacks teach you how to not give up and how to persevere. Those rough times are going to make you stronger and braver, because living life as a victim is no way to live at all. Fear is ok, love isn’t scary, and not everyone has it out to hurt you. Love yourself, prioritize your goals, and live everyday to the fullest, regardless of who’s in it. Pain is inevitable but suffering is always optional.
In today’s dating culture, it is widely debated whether or not a man is expected to pay for the first date. Men are feeling used, after feelings of getting nothing in return for paying for the first date. To get a woman’s attention, is a man really obligated to cough up money on the first initial date in order to be seen as a potential “option” for the woman? If a man refuses to pay for the first date or simply would like to split the bill , is he suddenly banished to the friend zone or listed as an unsaved number? The idea is that if a man takes the time to pay for your meal, [especially if he took you to an expensive restaurant] then sex is expected at the end of the night. Let’s all keep it real, if a man spends $200 on a date, he’s expecting to get some ass at the end of the evening; not a simple kiss on the cheek and a “good night” text. The question is…do women owe this to men? Continue reading “If a Man Pays for a Date…You Owe Him Sex?”
Ever breakup with someone and all of sudden they’re doing EVERYTHING they said they would never do. You may have been in a relationship with someone who said they didn’t drink or party but, you catch them all over social media at the hottest clubs tweeting about how shit faced they are the next morning. Maybe you were with a girl who dressed super conservative and after a breakup, all her social media accounts resemble that of a budding Instagram model in the making; fit tea included. You might sit there and ponder why they couldn’t just be themselves during the entire relationship or why they didn’t feel comfortable enough to experience new things with you? Here are 5 Reasons Why Your Ex Changes After a Breakup:
Its always somewhat tricky dealing with other people but especially when you throw building a life together in the mix. Once you have “the talk” and things are officially exclusive; you’re not just missing out on nights with friends, you’re not allowed to be selfish anymore. There’s someone else in the picture to consider now and if you have problems adjusting here’s a few tips to help better any relationship.
A lot of people loosely throw the word “loyalty” around as if it’s a quality that everyone possesses. In regards to a relationship, loyalty towards your partner is definitely one of the major keys that can either make or break it. Consistently showing your support and allegiance to your partner can help build a relationship with longevity and trust. Despite this, many women are often loyal to the wrong men. They either get caught up in their emotions and lead with their heart or end up leading with pleasureful desires if they become “dickmitized”. Both are equally unsatisfying. So the question is, at what point does being a loyal woman become a dumb ass decision?
I’m not at all against rebound relationships and I do believe that many people use them to get over the pain from their ex. Some people gain 100 lbs after an intense breakup, while some jump head first into a rebound situation in order to fulfill their sexual and emotional needs. When I look at Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston or think of when Kylie Jenner and PartyNextDoor had a brief hook up; I can’t even fix my face to have a side eye. So many people engage in rebound sex and relationships after they’ve had their heart broken; fame does not make them exempt. (Although, it’s still very uncertain as to whether Calvin Harris actually broke Taylor’s heart). The reality of it all, is that breakups can leave you feeling empty and alone. Sometimes people want that shoulder to cry on or just simply the intimacy that they no longer have with their ex. This is when people start to explore their options and turn to all those unsaved numbers in their phone looking for a “rebound”. Here are 7 Keys to Take into a Rebound Relationship:
So Things didn’t work out between you two and they went from being the love of your life to number one on your hit list. No matter how many things of theirs you break, or how many pictures you rip up or how many times you call the cops on each other (that was a joke) you still can’t manage to truly move on. Actually, you may have noticed there’s still a certain finesse about them, don’t worry I’m right there with you. This is the beginning of the phase one mind f*ck, also known as sleeping with your ex.
There is this common misconception that men are the only ones expected or allowed to engage in a relationship solely for casual sex. I think the whole world forgets that women have sexual needs and similar desires to express themselves intimately yet freely. There are so many blogs and videos out there to recognize red flags when a man is using a woman for sex but, no one really talks about when the roles are reversed. What happens when you meet an amazing woman with a radiant personality and perfect body to match? You arrange to go on a few dates, have sex and then you never hear from her again. After talking to a few men about this topic, a lot of them revealed that they have been through similar situations and were left confused, shocked and hurt at the fact that a woman could have sex and never talk to them again. Especially, considering the fact that they started to fall for their personality. Though most men say that they are more concerned with being used financially, being used for sex can be just as alarming if you aren’t paying attention to the signs. I believe that both men and women should tell each other from the start what they are looking for so that no one develops expectations or unrealistic feelings, however, we ALL know that things don’t usually play out this way. Here are 10 Signs She Might be Using You for Sex: Continue reading “10 Signs She Might be Using You for Sex”